*whoop* *whoop* shitpost alert! shitpost alert!

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 03/18/2019 at 20:07 • Filed to: None

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Remember that game where you put “Anal” in front of a car model’s name instead of the make? I just thought of the best one.

Maxima Speed > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:16

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........................

boredalways > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:18

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welp, it is Monday

gin-san - shitpost specialist > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:21

3

I definitely do not remember this game, but I will participate.

Ford vehicles are great for this:

Anal Explorer/Expedition/Excursion/Escape

Anal Focus

Anal Fiesta

Anal Transit

fhrblig > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:21

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I don't think anything beats Anal Excursion.

Nick- Professional Car Destroyer > fhrblig 03/18/2019 at 20:22

3

Anal Fiesta kind of takes the win in my books.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:22

5

Anal Explorer

Anal Stinger

Anal Blazer

Anal Expedition

Anal Charger

Anal Panda

Anal Odyssey

Anal Legacy

Anal Ram 1500

Anal Fusion

Anal Wrangler

Anal Pathfinder

am I doing this right?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/18/2019 at 20:25

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Anal 320i.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:25

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Listen, I’m not here to judge, but this game of yours was won a few decades ago.

And before you try and take second place:

And juuuuuuuust when you think you still have a podium finish:

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:25

3

Anal

Atleast wait till the 3rd date.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > fhrblig 03/18/2019 at 20:26

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Then you and I have very different ideas of what constitutes a fun time, good sir.

WilliamsSW > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:26

1

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:26

1

Anal Probe

Ford makes it so easy.

WilliamsSW > gin-san - shitpost specialist 03/18/2019 at 20:26

1

And you forgot the Ford Probe...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > gin-san - shitpost specialist 03/18/2019 at 20:27

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Anal Enclave

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > fhrblig 03/18/2019 at 20:27

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You could be an anal explorer. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:29

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Anal outback.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:29

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Anal Nitro.   Sounds like heart medication. or poppers.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/18/2019 at 20:31

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That one's old news.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 20:31

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If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/18/2019 at 20:32

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Anal Legacy

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 20:33

1

WilliamsSW > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 20:34

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I present to you the Acadian Invader.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer 03/18/2019 at 20:34

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Ew poppers

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:36

8

“Anal Legend” is a self-given title some bro named Jason gave himself in senior year of high school. 5/10.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > gin-san - shitpost specialist 03/18/2019 at 20:36

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Hondacura is almost as good:

Legend

Vigor

Beat

Pilot

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:37

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Anal Beat is the name of an OCD dancer’s autobiography. 7/10, on the right track.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 20:38

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What about Anal Vigor?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > WilliamsSW 03/18/2019 at 20:38

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Anal Invader is the name of some kind of sex toy you’d see at that kinda janky sex shop that advertises on billboards in bible country. 9/10.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:39

3

Anal Vigor sounds like a “male enhancement pill” that you’d hear the commercial for on advertisements on scramblevision back in the 90s/early 2000s .

Wacko > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 20:43

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How can the explorer and flex not be on this list

WilliamsSW > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 20:46

1

Desoto Adventurer is pretty good too, but the Invader is my favorite. 

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Wacko 03/18/2019 at 20:49

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Anal explorer is just another way of saying “We’ve been dating for 3 years and nothing’s changed...... so let’s go the wrong way down the one way! ”

Anal flex is bbblllgghghhgggggg......no.

PowderHound > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:49

2

I always played with r v’s and camping trailers. But if we are doing cars;

Anal tempo. I’m not sure exactly what it means but just have those words in your head for a few minutes.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > WilliamsSW 03/18/2019 at 20:51

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If there isn’t a porn parody superhero ca lled Anal Adventurer then dammit I’ve got a movie to make.

And then make the parody of that parody and call it  the Anal Avenger. Though Trowa probably made one just in case and is waiting to pull the trigger.

Tristan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 20:59

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Oppo’s resident Studebaker fanboy here...

Anal Commander

Anal Champion

Anal President

Anal Dictator

Anal Cruiser

Anal Champ

Ssfancyfresh > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/18/2019 at 21:03

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I giggled on Anal Panda

Alfalfa > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 21:04

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Anal Fortwo

Anal Forf our

Anal Charger

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 21:10

2

Are you sure about that?

fhrblig > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 03/18/2019 at 21:15

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Or an Anal Commander.

fhrblig > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 21:17

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I think the nonsensical ones make me laugh the most. Anal Sonata!

Chuckles > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 03/18/2019 at 21:22

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Anal Passport?

Chuckles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 21:24

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Anal Avenger

Anal Voyager

Anal Caravan

Anal Viper

Anal Challenger

Anal Charger

Anal Demon

Anal Hellcat

Anal Dart

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 21:34

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[sigh] I can’t believe I’m going to play along...

Anal Brat

Anal 4Runner

Anal Bronco

Anal Ranger

Anal Niva

Anal Transporter

Anal Forester

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 22:05

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Anal Challenger

Anal Avenger

Anal Charger

....wtf Dodge 

fhrblig > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 22:08

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Anal Flex... I've seen that video and.... it's horrifying.

fhrblig > Chuckles 03/18/2019 at 22:10

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Anal Adventurer! I guess that's just a trim level, though.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Tristan 03/18/2019 at 22:34

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Anal Clipper.

WilliamsSW > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 22:43

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Plymouth Fury

Mercury Marauder

Wacko > fhrblig 03/18/2019 at 22:46

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I’m not gonna google that

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > WilliamsSW 03/18/2019 at 22:57

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No to fury, yes to marauder. 

WilliamsSW > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 23:03

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Fine, but other Plymouths include

Champ

Conquest

Breeze

Duster

Prowler

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > WilliamsSW 03/18/2019 at 23:13

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Okay my #1 rule for games like this is “Has someone under the age of 30 unironically used that title for themselves?” and unfortunately, Anal champ, anal conquest, and anal prowler are definitely screennames on porn websites or dating apps. Anal breeze is a fart so 8/10 for humor. Anal duster is a new one. Haven’t considered, but it can’t dethrone anal rampage which just has that extra edge to it in that you can refer to it in two ways. Because of that, no one will ever make a name like “ANALRAMPAGE696969" since that immediately opens up any comment you say or any message you send to a response of people offering you pepto bismol. 

Tristan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/18/2019 at 23:26

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My dad is restoring a ‘57 Clipper currently. I know they were just badge engineered Studebakers, but I think they're gorgeous.

WilliamsSW > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/18/2019 at 23:54

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Lol this one is new to me so whatever amuses me works

phenotyp > Tristan 03/19/2019 at 01:08

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Anal Hawk

fhrblig > Wacko 03/19/2019 at 01:10

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Yeah, don't.

Tristan > phenotyp 03/19/2019 at 01:53

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Can’t believe I missed that one!

Dogsatemypants > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/19/2019 at 11:35

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Pretty sure those are powered by a 2 stroke roto hammer .

Dogsatemypants > fhrblig 03/19/2019 at 11:36

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Idk, anal odyssey/oasis?

Stef Schrader > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/20/2019 at 00:50

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“Anal Lancer” does not sound like a good time.

“Anal 944,” however...that’s hmm. Some kind of code word for something.

“Anal 411" would be the advice blog you go for this stuff, I guess.

Stef Schrader > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/20/2019 at 00:51

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yee—and I cannot emphasize this enough—haw

Stef Schrader > gin-san - shitpost specialist 03/20/2019 at 00:52

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Anal Fiesta is by far my favorite. It’s a booty party, everybody!

Stef Schrader > fhrblig 03/20/2019 at 00:53

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Anal Sonata is what I experience after going to Texas Chili Parlor. Y’all know I’m gonna get a bowl of their hottest. Y’all knooooooow.

Stef Schrader > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul 03/20/2019 at 00:54

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YES DODGE